College girl who loves traveling, Disney, and anything preppy. Figuring out my philosophy on life one moment at a time :)

"Can I lay by your side, next to you" #fbf #samsmith @samsmithworld

Love this

"It’s lovely to meet you" - @samsmithworld. Probably the sweetest person I have ever met, thank you. Last night was amazing filled with even more amazing music 😘 #happy #samsmith #samsmithworld #dc  (at heaven 🙏)
"It’s lovely to meet you" - @samsmithworld 

**passes out** - me. 

Thank you @samsmithworld for an amazing night filled with even more amazing music 😘 #samsmith  (at heaven 🙏)
Don’t know where I’d be without yew 💕✨

Just strutting through the streets of Paris with my ✨fabulous✨ 74 year-old French professor #nbd #missingparismonday

why do bad things happen to good people.

See that picture?  That’s me, smiling, laughing, being myself.  I had the honor of being featured in the Humans of Madison project created by my friend Griffin Harrington last week.

Why am I telling you this?  Because this picture reminds me of how I feel inside most of the time.  That smile you see is truly authentic 90% of the time.  However, the other 10% of the time I feel as though I am not truly being myself.  Today it hit me that I will probably not get to be an employee of the Walt Disney Company for much longer.  Long story short, I am having a hard time getting all the hours I need to remain an employee.  And if I get fired that means I cannot apply for another job with Disney for 13 weeks, so I will also miss the deadline for the Professional Internships for the Fall of 2015.

Whoever is reading this probably doesn’t care much about anything I just wrote.  But I am here to admit to myself and admit outloud that today, I am not happy.  That girl in the picture is long gone today.  The past 3 years of my life I have spent preparing for a job with Disney.  I have big dreams.  Big aspirations.  I have a big drive.  

Today, however, I feel small.  I feel helpless.  I don’t like being here.  And I need to figure out how to get out of this place, it doesn’t suit me well.  I am meant to be smiling, inspiring, and encouraging.

When I sat down to write this post I didn’t have a plan for what I was going to say, as you can tell from the lack of organization.  Sorry about it.

Paris, tu me manques 😔 (at best summer ever)
Not sure if I look happy or angry but I kinda love this, thank you @griffinh :) 💕