College girl who loves traveling, Disney, and anything preppy. Figuring out my philosophy on life one moment at a time :)

Just strutting through the streets of Paris with my ✨fabulous✨ 74 year-old French professor #nbd #missingparismonday

why do bad things happen to good people.

See that picture?  That’s me, smiling, laughing, being myself.  I had the honor of being featured in the Humans of Madison project created by my friend Griffin Harrington last week.

Why am I telling you this?  Because this picture reminds me of how I feel inside most of the time.  That smile you see is truly authentic 90% of the time.  However, the other 10% of the time I feel as though I am not truly being myself.  Today it hit me that I will probably not get to be an employee of the Walt Disney Company for much longer.  Long story short, I am having a hard time getting all the hours I need to remain an employee.  And if I get fired that means I cannot apply for another job with Disney for 13 weeks, so I will also miss the deadline for the Professional Internships for the Fall of 2015.

Whoever is reading this probably doesn’t care much about anything I just wrote.  But I am here to admit to myself and admit outloud that today, I am not happy.  That girl in the picture is long gone today.  The past 3 years of my life I have spent preparing for a job with Disney.  I have big dreams.  Big aspirations.  I have a big drive.  

Today, however, I feel small.  I feel helpless.  I don’t like being here.  And I need to figure out how to get out of this place, it doesn’t suit me well.  I am meant to be smiling, inspiring, and encouraging.

When I sat down to write this post I didn’t have a plan for what I was going to say, as you can tell from the lack of organization.  Sorry about it.

Paris, tu me manques 😔 (at best summer ever)
Not sure if I look happy or angry but I kinda love this, thank you @griffinh :) 💕
1787 August Orientation connected me with these 10 wonderful people who quickly became my friends, my squad, and my family. Thank you for teaching me how to be a better me. I love you guys 💕 #jmu1787  (at 🐸💜💛🐸)
Sometimes they love me 😍#jmu1787
Ayyyyeee Prezzy Alger 👏💜💛 #jmu1787
My MGL Bros 💜💛 #mgl #jmu1787  (at Wilson Hall (James Madison University))
So excited to kick off #jmu1787 with one of the nicest and most genuine people I know! We make a great team and I can’t wait to see how we impact first years this week! 🐸💕✨ #squad #mgl2014 @t3ddy_graham  (at Time to shine ✨)
Best partner ever 🐸 #ribbit #squad #poundsign #jmu1787 #MGL @t3ddy_graham  (at O-Team✌️)
HUGE happy birthday shoutout to my ride or die chick @biancaspics !!! Don’t know how I made it through life without ya but I’m so happy we met over a year and a half ago. So proud of you and I hope you have a wonderful day. Love and miss you bunches! 😘 #hbd #shelovesme #clearly
Probably my favorite shot I got of the Eiffel Tower. I’m leaving my heart in France because I know I’ll be back one day to get it. Thanks for the memories ✨✌️ #summer2k14 #paris #travel #adveture  (at Youth)
#TAM when you say you won’t be back, but the magic is too hard to resist ✨ #paris #dlp #disney #disneylandparis
I call it… “Orange and White” ~artsy #modernart #waitwhatisitreally #paris  (at Centre Pompidou)
Exploring is much more fun with your best friend by your side ☺️ #paris #loveya #travelbuddies #efficient @hsowards92  (at Tour Eiffel)